Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Professional Contractor

Chalk board dust, ringing bells, and smart-mouthed kids. Ah, school! I admit that I miss the daily interactions and the joys of teaching a well-planned lesson. For most of the past 5 years, I've either been working or been in school (or both). Now that I've finished up student teaching, I'm not doing either. I will not return to work full-time until the school year starts up again in September...

What the heck am I supposed to do until then?!?!?!?!

I could twiddle my thumbs--but too much twiddling leads to appendage loss. It's a medical fact. Just ask Mrs. FC. If I lose appendages, how will I drag my fingernails down a chalkboard when I want to torment my students? That's too terrible a possibility to even ponder!
(my hands on a bad day--and the green is chalkboard, not fuzzy grass--it really scares the kids)

Therefore, I've decided to do the most logical thing. I'm going to become a professional contractor.

Now, don't start jumping to conclusions!! If you look over at the right side of the blog, it clearly states that my (pretend) occupation is "contractor," but it doesn't say what I'm a contractor of.

The answer, my friends, is very simple. (It's blowing in the wind. Wait, what?)

Why, lives, of course. What were you thinking? Houses--psshh. That's just silly. Contracting on lives is where the money is at.

I'm a dangerous woman. Skilled in the art of assassination (and sandwich making). You don't want to mess with me.Here, you see my assassin compatriot and I following a successful mission. Scandinavians are the best for back-up because they can handle the cold kills. They don't even blink when they finnish. Trust me, the guy didn't even see us coming. I took him out with my trusty musket from 1000 paces. Assassin code name: Hawkeye.

In the hopes of taking more contracts and staying busy, I'd like to prove my mad skills to you in the following advertisement.

The world is now a better place.

ok, Ok, OK. I can't hold back the truth any longer. I'm retired. Mostly. I only play assassin as a hobby in my spare time. In my non-spare time, I...

You were right the first time. I will spend the summer contracting on houses. More specifically, my house:

But, wait! Don't you live in a sandwich shoppe? ...Well, I do. But that is a tale for another post.

Oh, and Mrs. Five Camels...
I'm coming for you.

1 comment:

  1. eek! I'm very afraid! ;) I'm glad my blog (err.. gateway drug) has sucked you into the blogosphere! I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU TOMORROW!!!! Your house is SO FREAKIN CUTE!!!


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