Dante's 10th Circle of Hell

My "duh!" advice to every garbage disposal owner? Keep small metal objects FAR FAR AWAY from your sink. And, of course, always double check your garbage disposal before running it.With a fine tooth comb and a magnifying glass. ALWAYS. 

I apparently suck at this.

Last year, I replaced the window above the kitchen sink and the next day a nail mysteriously managed to become lodged in the garbage disposal. It took quite a bit of muscle to pull that little sucker out and it was most unpleasant.

But do you know what is infinitely worse than a nail?

It's a little hard to identify since poor Abe has been re-assassinated, chopped up into little pieces, and then ground into the dust, but that would be a penny.

Note to self: Do not allow siblings to steal coins from your gum ball machine right next to the sink. Even if they are desperate cheaters intent on snagging jelly beans. Cut them off. No mercy.

Hey look! You can sort of tell it's a penny on this side. Sort of.

It took Stephen over an hour to pry Abe loose using a flashlight and a variety of tools. He had to detach the garbage disposal from the sink because the penny was lodged standing up against the inner wall of the garbage disposal and was nearly impossible to reach.

Once he finally got it out, he tossed the penny to me and said, "I think Dante forgot to include a tenth circle of Hell for people who drop tiny metal objects into garbage disposals."

So, if you want to avoid eternal damnation, I suggest you keep your DIY & candy snatching pursuits far away from the kitchen sink.

Locket Luf (Yes, I said LUF!)

Warning: Slightly sappy post. Turn back now.

I really, really like old-fashioned jewelry. One of my absolute favorite pieces of jewelry is my Great Great Grandmother's gorgeous ring. I never take it off for fear of losing it because I'm pretty sure that my life would be over if I ever have to tell my mother that I don't know where it is. And also because it comes with some nifty family history. And mostly because it's GORGEOUS.

Golly gee, but I do love that ring.

But now I have another piece of jewelry that I am head over heels in love with.  It was love at first sight. It's true love, people. Locket love.

"Ooo! Pretty locket!"

You can see that I'm wearing my great, great grandmother's ring on my right hand. Joseph likes to try and eat it whenever possible.

So for Christmas, for the first time since he bought me an engagement ring, Stephen bought me a piece of jewelry. To be fair, I don't wear jewelry very much. I mostly forget to put it on. But Stephen gave me this fabulously beautiful Victorian-esque locket. And I might just have to wear it every day for the rest of my life. Good job, love. Bravo!

Now for the finer details.

It has my first initial on the front.

And "Most Loving Wife & Mother" engraved on the back. That made me cry.

I have the sweetest husband in the whole wide world. *sniff*

And Stephen had already placed a picture from our wedding and a picture of Joseph inside the locket. So I can keep them close to my heart.

Like I said... Sweetest husband in the entire world. Even if he is a bit goofy. I LUF HIM!

The Perfect Birthday Cake for A Man Who Is (Slightly) Obsessed with Pizza

Meet the deep dish pizza cake.

Is it not fantastic? My husband's favorite food (breakfast, lunch, and dinner) is pizza. It's also his favorite word. He uses the word "pizza" as other people use the word "So..." Knowing that, we decided to make him a pizza cake for his 25th birthday.

Here's what we (Theresa and I) used:

• white or yellow cake baked in a cast iron pan
• strawberry jelly for tomato sauce
• grated white chocolate for cheese
• fruit roll-up for pepperoni (cut out with a bottle cap)
• Pizza Hut box

Of course, we could have gone the fondant route... but has anyone ever noticed that fondant doesn't taste very good? Ok, good, it's not just me. Fruit roll-ups, on the other hand... Very tasty!

Even if the fruit roll-up is sometimes sticky, stretchy, and difficult... you can just eat the messed up "pepperoni"!

It was quick and easy to make, yet it really looked like a pizza by the time we were done! It must be all that time I spend making real pizza for Stephen...

Word to the wise... When taking group pictures with a baby... Look out for little hair grabbing fists...

 

Poor Theresa...

Stephen was very excited when we presented him with his cake.

He just shares excitement a little differently than other people...

Of course, we had to cut the cake with a pizza cutter.

And we ate the cake slices like pizza slices. Mmm... Mouthfuls of cake.

The cake was surprisingly tasty. I was a bit worried about the jelly/white chocolate combination, but I liked it.

Stephen also liked his presents...

A T-shirt of his favorite Buddy the Elf quote:

 

And a Captain Hammer t-shirt:

I have a sneaking suspicion that I might be treated with some serious swaggering and uber confident singing sometime in the future...

If you want to make a pizza cake of your own, then Captain Hammer offers the following advice: "Don't worry if it's hard, if you're not a friggin 'tard, you will prevail!"

Oh, Captain Hammer... Such a way with words... If you haven't seen "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog", you are missing out. GO WATCH IT NOW. IMMEDIATELY. POST HASTE.

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart! I still love you... even if you are an old man. 

He Doesn't Like Green Vegetables

credit

Stephen: *staring in horror at my dinner bowl* What the heck is that?

Caroline: That is my zucchini casserole.

Stephen: Oh...*long pause* It looked like garbage.

Caroline: *grins*

Anniversary Art - Part III

Have you heard of Wordle??


If not, I'd like to introduce you. Reader meet Wordle. Wordle meet Reader.

I first heard of Wordle when I was teaching at the high school. Teachers were talking about how they might use it in the classroom or for projects.


What does Wordle do that's so spiffy? It takes a a group of words and turns them into random word art. Let's use my blog as an example. I go to the "create" page in Wordle (see above) and enter my URL. Wordle randomly generates this:

Every word used on the first page of my blog is represented here. The more a word is repeated, the bigger the word will be. It seems as though I use the word "little" a lot.

You can mess with the layout, font, and color on your own. Or you can just hit "Randomize" to let Wordle change it for you. (despite my skepticism, freedictionary.com says that "randomize" is a real word.)

Let's try another one for fun... Ah, yes. Let's do Mrs. 5C's blog. 

HA! Her top word is "hair"! (followed by "love" & "Rob" - how sweet!) To be fair, I created this Wordle the day of the Hermione hair post. Sorry, Mrs. 5C!


You don't have to Wordle a website. You can Wordle your favorite passage from a book, a poem, anything. You can even custom make your wordle by putting in a series of words, repeating the word or words you want to be larger.


This is what I did for our Anniversary. I created a list of words that had to do with me & my husband's relationship - from high school to the present. I repeated "love", our names, and our wedding date many times so that they would be larger than the rest of the words.


Here's a partial list (the actual list is super long!):

shnookywookums

shnuggywuggybear

200red.roses

college.sweethearts

pizza.brain

guesswhat?

chickenbutt

chickenlittle

camping

roadtrips

calculusclass

tennis.court.hockey

banana.phone

hey.there.handsome

plant.engineering.handbook
head.scratches
making.out.in.the.basement


...We're strange.


(Sidenote: If you want a phrase to stay together, you either have to remove the spaces or place periods between each word. Otherwise, Wordle will break the phrase up. Also, save your list in a word document, because Wordle doesn't save it for you with each try and once you "save" you can't edit it anymore.)

This is what I came up with:

I tried a lot of different formats out, but I settled on this one:

If I ever want to change it up a bit, I can just switch this one out with one of the others.

So, go try it out! Enter your blog or favorite book passage just for fun!

www.wordle.net

Anniversary Blooms

Hydrangea and lysimachia (goose necks) - both of which were used in our wedding floral arrangements - courtesy of my mom's garden. Thanks, Mom! We're really enjoying them!

My kitchen is under siege... by SKYNET!!! Hasta la vista, baby!!

"It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, we try to pull the plug."

photoshopped by the Professor's shooting buddy

"Skynet fights back."

My kitchen is under siege...

If you marry a computer geek...

He'll turn your kitchen counter into his command center to rebuild his SIX extra computers while you are asleep in your bed.

I'm pretty sure we have three or four more of these things upstairs (in addition to the two laptops and two desktops that get regular use). We need to get him a workshop.

SERIOUSLY RIDICULOUS!!

Dear computer geek husband - I want my kitchen back by the end of the weekend!!

Anniversary Art - Part II

Why stop with just one drawing??

I was so happy with how the first pen and ink drawing turned out, that I decided to move to Paris and become a world-renowned architectural sketch artist (who has delusions of grandeur!!).

The point is - I felt encouraged to do more than one. So I printed of a picture of the inside of the church we were married in and repeated the process.

I really like this one. It has less texture than the first, but I like the symmetry.

Anniversary Art - Part I

Yesterday was our 2 year wedding anniversary.

Normally, I have a terrible time coming up with gift ideas. However, while sorting through files a few weeks ago, I came upon this:
It's a spare donation envelope for the altar servers at our wedding. The image of the church on the envelope sparked an idea. I scanned the envelope, cropped the picture of the church, and blew it up (ka-boom!).

credit

Aww. That's where we got married... Warm sentimental fuzzies.My initial plan was to use my sister-in-laws projector to trace the image onto a piece of paper against the wall - except that her projector points at a screen covering her window. Terrific for daytime movie watching, but not the best tracing surface...
Needless to say, my first attempt at replicating a drawing of the church was... rough.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Lame. I can do better.

On to Plan B - I printed out the scanned image and used tracing paper and a fine-point Sharpie (a la my sister-in-law) to try again.

The result:

Definitely not professional, but not too bad!

Maybe even frame-worthy?

Diagnostics Complete

Edited & Reposted

Dear Husband,

I have diagnosed the problem:

Lachanophobia. A fear of vegetables. You have it.

No worries! With intensive vegetable therapy (and some sneaky cooking techniques on my part), I believe we can overcome your fear and recover from this trauma. All is not lost. We'll get through this together. All you have to do is trust me. Don't ask what's in the food, just eat it! It's tasty. Why would I lie about that?? **eye lash flutter**

Love,

Your Wife

P.S. Vegetable therapy rewards include head/back scratches and kisses.

EDITED - I forgot to log out and the Professor got into my account and edited the above paragraph in the following way:

No worries! With intensive vegetable therapy (and some sneaky cooking techniques on my part), I believe we can overcome your fear and recover from this trauma. I'll also cook you pizza every day. And then I'll get you a machine gun/flamethrower/helicopter. All is not lost. We'll get through this together. All you have to do is trust me, and eat meaty, veggie free pizza. Don't ask what's in the food, it's not poop, just eat it! It's tasty. Why would I lie about that?? **eye lash flutter**

Dastardly fiend! And, for the last time, I will NOT get you a machine gun/flamethrower/helicopter. You'll just break it.