Bat Wars

*Dramatic Star Wars Music*Bats have their uses.

They keep the bug population down. I appreciate that. I give them mad props for doing so.Especially if the bugs are that big...

However, that is as far as my appreciation goes.

Bats, The Dark Side:

1. They can carry rabies and you won't notice if they bite you. I, for one, do not want to start frothing at the mouth.2. They consume 700-1000 bugs per hour which is great--until you consider the fact that they have to poop all of those bugs.3. They don't always live in caves. And we have plenty of caves in our valley. Seriously, they couldn't go live in Luray Caverns? Shenandoah Caverns? Endless Caverns? SERIOUSLY!! No. Instead, for some reason, they like attics. OUR ATTIC! Not cool.
4. They create holes in said attic in order to get in and out. Holes we have to patch. But not before kicking them out.5. As if the bat poop in the attic wasn't bad enough, the bat poop can carry a fungus that causes respiratory disease that can potentially cause death. Oh, joy! You have to spray it down with a water/bleach solution.

6. They smell. They make my attic smell.

7. Creep Factor. They chitter and crawl around and they hang upside down while they sleep. Ok, the last part is kind of cool. But they are CREEPY. I do not like going up in the attic alone.
8. They have the nerve, the nerve, to die in my house:9. They fly at your head when you walk outside at night. It freaks me out.

10. DRACULA. Need I say more?

So, little batty squatters, although I know it is unwise to start a war on two fronts, you have left me with no choice. You are going down with Mrs. Five Camels. Eviction notices have been posted. We've set up exclusions to kick you out. You would be wise to stay out!
If not, this will happen to you!