Good news: Joseph is healthy.
Unsurprising news: Joseph thinks shots are the devil.
Bad news: I woke up the next morning with my left eye glued shut by sleep crusties.
I swear I'll never touch anything in the pediatrician's office again. Cross my heart.
After a quick visit to the family doctor, my suspicions were confirmed. I had conjunctivitis.
Yes! Pink eye! That means they'll send me home from school today!!
Oh, wait... I'm not 6. Damn it! There's no advantage to having pink eye when you are a grown up. Stupid growing up.
The drops were helpful, but a week later, the pink eye was back.
IN BOTH EYES!! ARGH!
I should really stop touching my eyes. I should really be more diligent about using my drops. I should really move to Antarctica where I can't get pink eye at pediatrician's offices. I should really be friends with the penguins. They don't get pink eye. Right?
Fortunately for me, my savvy PA sister-in-law, Mrs. 5C, was visiting this past weekend. I lured her to my sketch-tastic home with promises of chocolate cheesecake and miles upon miles of yard sales. (And boy did I deliver! More on that tomorrow...)
Anyways. Back to pink eye, the scourge of my habitual eye rubbing existence.
Mrs. 5C took one piteous look at me and said, "Oh my, are you ok? Is there something wrong with your eyes??"
"Pink eye." I muttered sadly.
"Oh...Just use breast milk."
"SAY WHA?!?!?" My itchy, gooey, puffy, pink eyes widened in disbelief. I couldn't have heard her right. Could I?
"Just put a few drops of your breast milk in your eye about 3 times a day and it should be gone in 24 hours. It worked for Jamie and her family."
Uh huh. Sure. I think it's time to have Mrs. 5C committed. Breast milk in the eye. Ridiculous. No way, Jose.
Oh fine. I'll try it. I guess. She's a savvy PA after all. She knows her stuff. Even if she's a weirdo.
Several drops of breastmilk, one envious baby, one grossed out husband, and 24 hours later, I was cured!
I believe in the awesome powers of breast milk. It can fatten up babies. It can soothe soar nipples. It can cure the pox that is pink eye. Hallelujah, I believe!
(Thanks, 5C! Eye love you!)